Driving to work, my thoughts drift to the future and all the amazing things yet to come for my husband and I, and a silly grin makes it way to my face. I think of LT’s first Christmas at home, holidays with all the cousins, and eventually being grandparents. For miles, I am lost in my own daydream.

That is until a nagging, cramping sort of feeling in stomach jars me back to reality. This cramping, almost painful feeling in my stomach has seemed accompany high blood sugars recently. Just like that my mood plummets and my worry of the damage done my body from diabetes takes over. Guilt is next, since it’s all up to me and let’s face it, I am not a model diabetic.

I hate this disease and the way it taints things with its mere presence. I hate that my biggest worry about being a parent (that is after the huge obstacle of actually getting him home) is my diabetes getting in the way. Will I be able to have good enough control to keep up with my baby and feel well enough to enjoy the priceless moments? More daunting still is the heavy weight of the complications that in my mind are inevitable.

A glance at his adorable face and I pull out my kit to test. I despise testing, those often angry numbers glaring back at me from the screen, but for him I’ll do anything. I will do my best to not let this chapter of my life be tainted by the big bullying D.


Christmas Early!

I got my starter set of Real Time sensors today! I won’t be able to start using them until I get my pump upgrade which will happen next month, but I am still excited. Unbeknownst to me the sensors need to be refrigerated so the package was sent overnight and arrived at my office this morning.

My co-worker and friend, Sarah, was instrumental in helping me wade through the whole process with here inside knowledge from her previous job at Medtronic. Thank you Sarah! See, the first time I needed pump supplies with my UHC insurance it was a huge hassle to get the bill paid and my prescription plan only allows for 2 bottles of Novolog at a time (which is much less than I use) so I therefore assumed that there was no way my insurance would cover the Real Time, but Sarah told me that they would.

So, once I get the pump upgrade and actually start using the Real Time system next year it is game on! No more slacking, no more acting like I don’t have diabetes! It’s time to get those blood sugars under control – I’ve got to be in the best health I can be for baby LT.



We got our referral! He is a beautiful baby boy from Guatemala. LT is about 2 months old, happy & healthy. We got an amazing video where he is happy as can be, almost-smiling, alert, and simply adorable. It was torture to watch LT on the screen and not be able to hold him, kiss him and breathe in that wonderful baby scent. I wish I could post a picture here but our agency asks that we don’t.

We are head-over-heals in love and we haven’t met him yet. There are still so many hoops to jump through and endless waiting to endure but at least we have a picture to attach to all our hopes and dreams.

Now all we want for Christmas is for LT to come home safely and quickly and most of all not get tangled up in all the bureaucratic crap surrounding international adoption.

All the stress, excitement and waiting is wreaking havoc on my blood sugars