11/09/2005

my very first post

Recently I stumbled upon the many great blogs out there written by fellow persons with diabetes and got the thought that perhaps it would help me to write a blog. Since today has been dubbed D-blog day I thought it would be an appropriate time to post my blog. So here goes….

The basics:
My name is Melissa. I am 31 and have had Type 1 since I was 9 (well, actually 8; I got out of the hospital the day before my 9th b-day). Since June of this year I have been happily married. We live near Cleveland, Ohio. Work is full-time and pretty boring but I am going to school part- time to change that. My favorite past time is reading and I am a dork who loves the library. We share our home with my cats, Pokey & Rodeo, and his beagle, Angel, all of whom bring us both joy and at times frustration, but they are worth it. I love kids and have 3 nieces and a nephew plus one on the way who are the best! Every single day is a struggle with diabetes.

For the first time in many years I am really trying to accept, tame and live with the disease instead of fighting it. It is not going away & I am only hurting myself. I often feel like I have made it this far with no visible complications by pure luck. Yeah, sure I had great care when I was younger, I had an amazing diabetes care team, I had an extremely supportive family (especially my mom), and I was very well educated about my disease. Then, I legally became an adult and the burden of my care fell into my own hands. Most of the time though, I only did what was necessary to not feel too sick and to just get by. Sure, I have had times when I tried harder, or paid more attention to what I ate and made an effort to be a good little diabetic. But if I am to be really honest with myself I have never really accepted diabetes as an adult or done my best to take control.

I am making a commitment to myself to now do that. I will not let diabetes run my life. I will not skate by on pure luck anymore. I will take action to keep myself healthy until the cure arrives. I will believe in me. I will do better.

But I can’t do it by myself. I need to know that I am not alone. So tell me your story. Give me your tips & tricks of living with diabetes; tell me your struggles, tell me your accomplishments and if you check back here I will tell you more about mine.

~Melissa

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go for it, little sis! I know how this disease has affected your life (and mine, too, sometimes). How brave you are to confront your fears and failings so publicly and to pledge to move forward. I am perhaps the only one who will get the true origin of the title of your blog... I'm with you in whatever way you need me to be. Blog on!
Nars

Court said...

Yay, Liss! Blog looks good, keep us posted. Your friends and family like having this insight into your sometimes grumpy or giddy, but always understanding personality.

Anonymous said...

Great Blog Melissa!
I learned something recently from a client . She stated "I will not accept this illness, I will accomodate it" Sometimes when we accept things we let them take over and control our lives. It really is all about accomodating this "great inconvenience" in your life. You are doing great, for now you are taking great action in becoming a better person who happens to have diabetes.
Your parish nurse,
Paula

Anonymous said...

Don't think of it as a "why me" scenerio. Think of it as a "why not me" scene. Maybe the man upstairs knows you have the ability to control the beast that toments you. All you have to do is strive to be one step ahead of it.

gargoyle1 said...

Congratulations on your first blog! I am a Type I as well - went into the hospital the week before my 13th birthday. Diabetes has been my albatros for 24 years. Recently (1999) my life was greatly improved by the use of an insulin pump. Six years later, I couldn't imagine living without it. My husband helps change my pump every 3-4 days; not that I can't do it myself, rather he likes to be as involved as possible. Your journey of denial mirrors my own - btdt. You have made the hardest choice in your life - wanting to take charge of your health and your life. You can do it - you are a strong person and your support network sounds excellent. Count me as one of your backers. Cathy.

Sandra Miller said...

Melissa,

Welcome to the O.C.!

(My son was dx'd Type 1 last year -- just before turning 9.)

A wonderful first post-- honest and well-written.

I'm adding a link to your blog right now.

Take care,
Sandra

mar said...

Mel,
You are so brave and strong - I told everyone at breakfast about your renewed commitment. I'm impressed and proud and hopeful. But that really doesn't matter - your commitment to yourself and your future is the important thing. You're not alone - you're terrific!
Mar

Allison said...

Hi! Welcome to the OC! Great to have you.

Your blog looks cool, and you seem to have a similar story to me. You should check my blog out, Lemonade Life.

I'm adding you to the Diabetes OC official site. Hopefully that will help to increase traffic to your site.

Kerri. said...

Hi Melissa.

I'm happy to see you up and running with this. There's something about this online community that just gently folds you in. You're not alone. You're encouraged, even when you're ringing in at 325 mg/dl and you feel like trash. You're supported.

I've linked you from "Six Until Me." Here's to the success of your blog!

-- Kerri.

gina said...

Hi Melissa, and welcome to the O.C, You aren't alone and know we are only a type away!!! you made my d-blog day! great first post! cant wait to read more!

gina

www.diabetestalkfest.com/blog

Anonymous said...

Melissa-

I really enjoyed your blog. Thank you for sharing your story. Although, I do not have diabetes, I know several people that do. I am impressed by the discipline that is required of you. I am sure your blogs will be motivational to those who read them. I look forward to your updates!

Laurie

Scott K. Johnson said...

Thanks for finding me out there - I really do enjoy reading and writing about our daily fight with diabetes because it's a side of things that people don't really know about.

It's important for us to express ourselves and be able to bond and share the struggles that are forced on us. It helps us cope.

I am often very frustrated, and find it hard to keep my motivation level up. But those are also the times that I recognize that burdons like this are not placed on us without purpose.

There is some reason that I have diabetes. It has helped shape who I am, my outlook on life in general. It has helped me appreciate the care, love and dedication of my parents (and sister) as they helped me to grow up and accept the responsibility of managing as best I can. To better myself and be constantly working to improve my health and control. Not a bad goal to work towards.

Maura said...

hi Melissa,
Have you read the book Sweetblood by Pete Hautman?
- Maura

melissa said...

Maura,
Yes, I have read Sweetblood buy Pete Hautman...thus the name of my blog. Have you read it?
~Melissa

Jo said...

Welcome to the blogosphere. I am a Type II, diagnosed in Dec '04.

Melissa said...

I recently made a new commitment to my DB care as well and started my own blog "How's the DB?" in the attempt to be accountable to someone. I can relate to your story so well. It is always full steam ahead for a week or so and then slowly sinking back into bad habits. Here's to not giving up this time and have a healthy, stong body when the cure gets here! You have my support and I look forward to reading more.

mytime79 said...

Reading your entry was all too familiar to me. I truly feel the same exact way. I am going through very similar situation... I'm 26 and was diagnosed at 14, becoming an "adult" and finally having to deal with all that diabetes involves is incredibly hard. You are not alone!! Welcome.

Jenorama said...

Hi Melissa! Great blog!

I am featuring it on The Diabetes Blog (http://www.thediabetesblog.com) so tune in!!!

Maura said...

Yes I have read Sweetblood. Right now I am reading Needles. I've taken a long break from it though. It is intense. I am so glad that I didn't have to use those thick needles. Ewwww. I like the pump. I Have an appointment with the CDE tomorrow and of course my sugars are all over the place. I was low last night and then in the 300s this morning. Aggh!
Maura

melissa said...

Maura,
I also read Needles, but it has been quite a while. I can remember times when my shots hurt quite a bit and left colorful bruies but I don't think it was because of the large needle size. Me too! Low last nigth then high this morning. Any chance your blood sugars all over because you are stressed about seeing the CDE?
Melissa

katy mirtz said...

It's almost like ready my own story. I am 33, been a diabetic for 18 years. I spent my spring break my freshman year of high school in the hospital. It is a relief to here a similar situation to mine. I have been having a really hard time lately with depression that even antidepressants do not work very well. I am hopeing to improve that because I am tired of feeling this way and want to do better at work, school and dealing with my family.