The big news that I have been dying to share with the blogosphere but haven’t yet because there is a part of me that is terrified that it will not happen is....
We are adopting.
As my husband says “Good Lord willing, by this time next year we will have a baby boy home with us.” After much consideration and a huge leap of faith we decided on Guatemala and a boy. We are very close to getting our dossier in and then begins the real wait; the agonizing wait for him to come home. We have been fingerprinted, questioned, examined, schooled, and pushed to our limits with the mounds of paperwork. I think I actually broke a sweat when the social worker asked me tons of questions about diabetes which led to more questions about my Prozac use. There were some moments there where I hated diabetes the disease more than I ever had before because it felt like, for those few moments that I may no be deemed suitable for adoption because of it. The social worker and the agency do not see these as issues (in the carefully worded way it is all documented) but the doubt is still tangible.
I simply cannot wait until we get our referral and thus the picture of our baby. Then it will all feel so much more real. Then I can start decorating the baby’s room and buy him some adorable, tiny cargo pants, ooh and tiny Crocs, and little Converse and …. Then I might feel like this could actually happen to me.
I love kids. Love them sticky hands, sloppy kisses, whininess, brutal honesty, and all.
When I think of my future there is a child in it, and my husband too.
PS It seems so impersonal to call him just baby but without sharing the name we have picked out I am stumped so if you have any ideas let me know. Art Sweets moniker of Guatababy was great and is all I keep thinking of.